


Fear What's on the Other Side

by SubordinateHypothesis



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Violence, Child Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Monsters, Post-Season/Series 02, Slow Burn, The Upside Down
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:07:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27947276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubordinateHypothesis/pseuds/SubordinateHypothesis
Summary: Steve Harrington is paranoid. It crept up on him, but now that it's here it won't go away. He can't stop being afraid, but he can't stop being the hero. Maybe that's why he followed the path in the woods.Billy Hargrove can't remember the last time he wasn't checking every corner. And the one time he trusts in himself everything goes to shit. Everything. Now he's stuck with Harrington and his step-sister.Neither one of them could prepare for what's to come.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Steve Harrington & Maxine "Max" Mayfield
Comments: 23
Kudos: 68





	1. The Blob at the Edge of the Forest

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin, I just want to say that some of the ideas in this fic are not mine and were heavily inspired by others on this site. All of the writing is mine though and if it inspires you, take my ideas! But don't copy my work, please. 
> 
> I would not be able to post this without the support of my friend who helped edit this.

Steve runs his hands through his hair, knowing that he’s flattening all his hard work. At this point, it’s hard to stop himself from pulling out chunks. He carefully places his hands back down on the table and feels a crack in the old wood. He starts digging at it. Back and forth, back and forth. 

He looks up out the window; nothing was all that different from the last time he had looked out into the expanse of darkness, but that didn’t stop the pit in his stomach from growing larger. His eyes strain to find anything wrong with the woods, whatever could be there is only a few feet away from his safety in the diner. But nothing changes. He looks away.

It was 7:37. Steve watched as the fast-moving hand clicked through the whole rotation around the face of the shiny watch. There is an ever-growing list in his mind of things about his life that he doesn’t like. The watch on his wrist gleamed in the harsh light, reminding him that this watch was on his list. The watch was grounding him in real life, so that was something. He got it this year for his 19th birthday, his father gave him the watch with a spot at his company, but he only took one of the gifts. 

“What do you want, hon?”

Steve jumps in his seat, “Nothing. I’m just waiting for someone.”

“Okay, then,” The old waitress says. Steve watches her walk away to the kitchen that looks like it cooked nothing edible. He feels his eyes drooping.

“Wait.”

The waitress turns around.

“Could I get a coffee?” Steve says, his leg bouncing.

Steve turns back towards the window. The light from the diner stretches over the only road out of Hawkins. He wishes the light would shine in the woods. His finger taps a meaningless rhythm on the chipped table. Steve looks out trying to ignore the nothingness in between the trees, hoping to see the familiar truck drive up the road. He gives up and waits for his coffee.

The diner is everything you’d expect out of an abandoned roadside diner. It was stuck in the ’50s and weathered by time. The staff seemed to be too. Steve liked the tiled floor, but other than that it wasn’t his taste. 

The door slammed open.

Hopper looks exhausted, he stopped in the doorway once he caught sight of Steve and rubs his hand down his face. Steve couldn’t tell if it was because of the day or being here, but he had something this time. He swears.

“Okay, kid,” Hopper sits down heavily on the booth across from Steve, “You better have something good.”

“I think somethings wrong with the Upside Down.”

Hopper looks across the diner, finding it acceptably empty. He talks at the same level as Steve, “What do you mean something wrong?”

“Like, something happened,” Steve tries to explain, his hand messing with the buckle of his watch.

“What happened?” Hop pulls a cigarette out of his shirt pocket and lights it.

“I think that—I don’t know but, um this— I just feel like somethings off, like everything that happened last fall is going to happen again. Like Will getting possessed. And the—um...” Steve looks out the window then back to Hopper. He hopes that Hopper might offer him a cigarette.

But he doesn’t. Hopper looks tired, not worried. But Steve needs him to believe— needs him to be worried. Who wouldn’t be? People should be, after all the crazy shit that happened last year. Why did he stay in Hawkins? 

“Hawkins is done with the Upside Down and all that shit is finished. El closed the gate.” Hop explains.

“The gate! I think that’s what’s causing it—what’s happening. I mean. I’m sure, this thing is happening because of the gate. Or whatever.” 

The waitress is back and Steve’s coffee is set on the table. The pain of his hands against the hot cup grounds him a little bit. He takes a slow sip and then a bigger gulp. Hopper asks the waitress for the same. She leaves.

Hopper watches him for a bit, his eyes are full of pity. Steve looks away, his vision shifts between his reflection in the window and the woods. Neither one feels real.

“Kid, when was the last time you slept?” 

Steve’s guilty face says it all. Hopper sighs and rubs his hands down his face.

“Steve—” Hopper begins to say. 

“I think whatever El did with the gate,” Steve presses forward with the conversation placing his coffee back down on the table, “didn’t stick. Or how— I mean—and— and now everything is going to happen again. It can’t happen again. We have to stop this, I need it to stop.” 

Steve can tell that Hopper doesn’t want to have this conversation, “I’m going to need some evidence.” 

“Evidence? I don’t—just, you have to believe me.” Steve takes a long shaky breath that fills the bottom of his lungs. 

“I can’t.” 

“Why?”

“You know what I’ve been doing these past four weeks? Going up to this shit hole to see you. Unless you have something real good, I’m not making this trip again.”

Steve’s face drops, “Come on—”

“The first week, I investigated what you said, there was nothing. The second week I did the same. Third, I paid close attention to weird things around Hawkins. The only thing that turned up was that someone’s cat got stuck in a drain pipe.”

Hopper extinguishes his cigarette on the table. 

“The fourth week, I didn’t bother. Nothing has come up and nothing will come up. Everything with the Upside Down is done. El hasn’t said anything. She closed the gate, I watched it with my own eyes. ” Hopper says intensely, not once breaking eye contact with Steve. 

Steve opens his mouth to say something. 

“Go home, get some sleep.”

“Hop—”

“No, you go home, we all went through a lot last year,” Hopper pulls the coffee away from Steve, “Sleeping will help you process, even if you don’t want to.”

Hopper gets up from his seat, smiles sadly, and throws his jacket on. The door slams again as he leaves. Steve watches out the window as he drives away in his big truck. He keeps looking out the window long after Hop is gone.

Hopper’s forgotten coffee comes around.

This is exactly what he didn’t want. The next step is to go home, whatever that is. He can’t remember the last time he had seen his parents. Then, he remembers the early morning when he woke up with screams that would have disturbed the whole household. Steve couldn’t handle the growing hole in his chest. His parents can’t care that he is a disappointment if they can’t see him. He finishes both coffee mugs on the table. 

The waitress’s eyes mirror Hopper’s pity. 

Steve leaves 10 dollars on the table and gets out of the old diner, feeling his face burn with embarrassment. He races to his car not liking how dark it is outside of the diner. He takes the keys out of his pockets and tries many times to get them into the Beamer, his hands shake so badly that he drops them. He feels safer once he’s in his car. He pulls out of the small dirt parking lot onto the barely paved road, and Steve starts his drive home.

He turns the radio on. Too loud. He turns it off. Too quiet. The road is long and dark, and the hole in his chest grows deeper. His eyes scan the trees as heart pounds far louder than it had been before. He hates this drive. The forest on his left side reminded him of his increasing dread as he kept going. 

He was so sure of it this time. He had woken up too early. He was shaking and sweating. The world had flipped, and that feeling never went away. He sat in his room feeling useless and scared—or maybe useless because he was scared. Steve didn’t know. He looks back at the tree line.

He knew that he didn’t want to go back to sleep.

When Steve drove Dustin to school with Robin, everyone was silent. They could tell something was wrong, that something is wrong. Hopper didn’t believe him. Hopper wanted evidence. Steve didn’t have evidence, he had feelings. But his feelings had to be enough. 

Steve snaps back to reality when his whole car starts bouncing. An awful sound grinds into his head. He wrenches the wheel to the left, getting on the road again, and feeling shaky. He takes a deep breath. 

He looks at the trees. To get evidence meant woods, woods were no good. Feelings should be enough. He should try again tomorrow, maybe if he calls Hopper he’ll be in a better mood. 

He looks over again at the tree line. He just has to get through this drive. Look straight at the road and keep moving forward. But no matter how hard he tries something gnaws at him from the back of his brain, telling him he has to look at the tree line. He had to look, just in case, there was something there. The trees certainly didn’t look any nicer or different when he looked again.

'Get through this drive, Steve, come on,' Steve thinks as he looks away from the forest.

An evil voice in the back of Steve’s head spoke, 'Just because you're away from the woods doesn’t mean you’re safe.' 

His eyes barely touch the tree line, and he sees a blob at the edge of the forest. Steve knows what he saw and it certainly isn’t a tree. It seems impossible to look back.

But once he does he can’t stop. Steve slows his car to a crawl, eyes glued to the blob at the edge of the forest. His hand reached for the nail bat. All he could hear was pounding in his ears, and he didn’t like it. His chest got tighter and tighter as he inched closer and closer. The tightness made the pounding of his heart so much more painful. But there was nothing in this world that would take his eyes away from that terrible blob at the edge of the forest. 

As he got closer, his grip loosened on the nail bat. He let go of the tension all along his shoulders and back. The tightness in his chest was let go easily with a careful shaky breath. His head falls forward on the steering wheel with a thud. He gasps for air trying to return to a normal breathing pattern. 

The blob at the edge of the forest was no blob rather Billy Hargrove’s crashed Camaro. He could feel the headache of annoyance building in anticipation of whatever was to come. He pulled over to the other side of the street, a dangerous move if there were people anywhere on the street. 

The blue car was slammed against a tree despite this there was minimal damage. But no sign of Hargrove. Steve wasn’t even moving now, simply staring at the wreck. He sat in his car, wondering if he should get out.

Hargrove wasn’t around, so Steve wouldn’t be of much help if he is hurt, but if he comes back from wherever he is Steve should help. But should he? It wasn’t even a year ago that he had bashed his face in. It wasn’t his fault that Billy had crashed his car. It was a surprise that it hadn’t happened earlier. 

Steve took a deep breath and prepared himself mentally to walk away from the situation. But as he turned his head his eyes caught sight of something familiarly colorful. Cold terror gripped his heart. 

Max’s bloody skateboard was falling out of the open passenger’s side door. 

At a crawling pace, Steve pulled up closer to the smashed Camaro. He notices the blood smeared on the door in the shine of his headlights. He turns his car off but keeps his headlights on. His hands grip his nail bat, knuckles white as bone against the light wood. In his other hand, he clutches the flashlight that he stored in his car, hoping that no monsters got to Hargrove or Max. 

'Maybe they were just the appetizer.' says the horribly dark voice in his head.

He takes a shaky deep breath. Somehow the trees seemed bigger. He is glued to his seat in a terrifyingly guilty way. The fearful part of Steve reasons that he can’t be very helpful, Hargrove and Max were probably monster food by now. But that means that while he’s sitting in his car, Hargrove and Max could be getting ripped up and eaten, and he’s doing nothing to stop it.

He looks at the bloody skateboard again. Something seems wrong. Hargrove, while reckless, wouldn’t dare to ruin his car like this. It also seems wrong that the monster just snatched them out of the car, in a relatively open space. Now that he’s looking and thinking he can’t seem to fit all of the stuff around the car together. Max is hurt and it looks like Hargrove hasn’t done anything about it.

The feeling of terror returned in a new and more horrible wave. For a moment he stopped living, heart stopped beating, stopped breathing, stopped thinking. The only question that was pounding in his head was, what if Hargrove took Max out here to kill her?

This jump-starts Steve. The woods are scary and there is most definitely a chance of running into monsters. But he can’t give Hargrove a chance to hurt the kids again. He wouldn’t allow it.

Steve got out of the car. He shined a flashlight on the wreckage.

“Max!” Steve hissed out to the darkness.

His brain tried to keep up with the terror of being in the woods while also trying to figure out what happened. There were so many things that he didn’t know. All the evidence could go for monsters or Hargrove’s blood lust. He didn’t know what he was going into and didn’t know which one he wanted it to be.

Why were they even in this part of Hawkins?

Steve couldn’t possibly know. He couldn’t stop his mind from picturing Billy caught in the act of strangling a redhead in his mind when he looked back at Max’s broken skateboard. 

Headlights illuminate the trees, he notices a small part of the forest disturbed. That had to be the path that they took. The ever-increasing dread in his chest grows larger than it had all day. If he wants to help Max, he would have to go into the forest, where the monsters were. 

Max couldn’t survive Billy. He barely did.

There is a moment where Steve wants to just walk away. But then his brain supplies him with the horrible image of Max terrified, clinging onto life. Steve climbs through the underbrush, holding the nailbat protectively in front of him. He knew, somewhere in his consciousness, he made the right decision but the overwhelming fear was telling him to run away. 

Steve’s brain fills the places between the trees with terror-inducing. He continues on the path that he sees weaving through the trees. He can’t remember a time when he was this scared. Not even when those fucking dogs were so close to killing—

God, Steve hopes that he isn’t too late.


	2. A Family Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse, unfortunately, this whole story will have mentions of abuse, so if that triggers you in any way this story may not be for you. This is the most graphic chapter so if you don't want to read the abuse skip to the capital letters when I indicate you to.

Billy hates family dinners. Susan always liked to buy something special when Neil is out of town. He was a stickler for sitting down together, “as a family”. Apparently, Susan likes the idea too. Billy never thought of family. Not in Hawkins. Billy would be better off with himself, but this shit hole seems to want to trap him at this table. 

He should be leaving Hawkins tonight. 

Susan finally brings the two pizza’s over to the table. Maxine grabs immediately from the box, no plate in front of her. Billy scoffs.

“C’mon Maxine, get a plate.” Billy grabs a piece for himself.

Maxine rolls her eyes and takes a huge bite out of the piece. Billy grumbles and eats his pizza on a plate—unlike the heathen. He opens his mouth to tease Maxine more, but Susan gives him a scathing look. She would probably tattle to Neil if he tried to dig at Maxine more. He shuts up.

He just had to keep his head down and make this dinner the fastest one in the Hargrove house’s records. Maxine wasn’t making that any easier. Usually, Maxine and Susan would have a wonderfully boring conversation. Billy would just disappear in their eyes, and Susan would be satisfied with her successful family dinner. Billy would be free. But Maxine isn’t talking and looks like she wants to be there as much as Billy does.

Now an uncomfortable silence sits in the kitchen. Maxine is usually the one who starts the conversation, but she doesn’t seem like she’s in the mood. Susan has a constipated expression on her face, she opens her mouth and then closes it again. 

“How was school, Billy?” Susan asks, Billy can tell that she isn’t actually interested, she wants to not eat in silence.

“Oh, it was great.” Billy can’t help the gibe that comes from his mouth, “I especially loved when I got home and tripped on Maxine’s skateboard in the front yard.”

Maxine shoots him a glare but doesn’t defend herself. 

“Well, Neil wanted to tell you that he’s really glad that you’re taking community college classes.”

Billy grumbles something back, not caring about actually answering. He knows he’s making the mood at the table worse, but he doesn’t know what else to respond with. Susan loved to remind him that Neil still loved him. Billy can really feel that ‘love’ with all of the bruises. And he sure as hell knew that she didn’t do anything about Neil hitting him. 

“Oh, Billy can you take Max to her friend’s for her sleepover tomorrow? I have work.”

Billy nods but knows he won't be able to fulfill that responsibility.

The mention of her work must have sparked something in her brain because Susan jumps into a story. Billy's only half paying attention. His soul dies a little every time that Susan tries to interject awkward laughs in between sentences. Maxine tries to join in with halfhearted nods and giggles. It’s pitiful. 

(SKIP TO THE CAPITAL LETTERS)

The front door slams open. Silencing all the fun family time. Billy feels the pit grow in his stomach. Neil walks into the kitchen and only a blind man could mistake him as sober. Billy could feel the few bites of greasy pizza trying to crawl back up his throat.

Neil sways at the door frame of the kitchen. Pointing towards the pizza, “What the hell is this? Do you think we can afford this shit?”

Susan starts to talk, but Billy can’t hear her. There’s blood rushing in his ears. Billy feels the chance of getting out of this shithole town slipping through his fingers. He might have time, but he could feel those seconds tick by. He takes a deep breath through his nose. He gets up. He takes tentative steps toward the two-person doorway of the kitchen. Hoping that he could just slip past Neil.

It was like looking at a clock when you have a deadline, being so sure that you had all the time in the world. You look away and look back, and all of a sudden you’ve missed it. Billy would have to deal with catastrophic consequences. 

Neil pushes Billy back. Billy stumbles back into his chair. Billy could feel the collision of his teeth rattle his skull. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Neil asks. 

Neil was drunk in a dangerously coherent way. Just enough to be angry but not enough to have a weak punch. Billy waited for Neil to usher Max and Susan out, prepared for the feeling of helplessness as they both left. Or Neil would take him somewhere.

Neil did neither.

Neil grabbed the hair at the crown of Billy’s head, “I’ve told you, boy, now you repeat. What do we honor in his house?”

“Respect and responsibility.” Billy chokes out, holding onto Neil’s hand to stop him from pulling his hair. Goddammit.

Neil lets go pushing Billy into the back of the chair. Billy can already feel the tenderness on his scalp. 

Neil turns to Susan as if letting her in on an inside joke, “You’d think I didn’t raise this boy.”

Billy glances over to Susan. She didn’t think it was funny. She’s as pale as a sheet, Maxine reflecting her horror.

Neil gets into Billy’s face, “Do you think it’s polite to leave the dinner table without permission? Apologize.”

“I’m sorry.” Billy doesn’t break eye contact with his dad. 

“Well, he’s apologized now, so why don’t we go to bed?” Susan says in a tight voice, pleading for the night to end.

Neil scrunches his face and turns to Susan, “No not to all of us,” He turns back to Billy, “come on, boy. I want an apology, to Susan, Maxine, and me.” 

“Honey, I don’t think that’s needed.” Susan insists, getting out of her seat carefully.

“Oh, I think it is,” Neil says with malice, not breaking eye contact with Billy.

Susan walks over to Neil, getting between him and Billy, “Let’s go to bed, okay?”

Neil pushes against her and Susan, surprisingly, stands her ground. Billy imagines his face is just as white as Maxine’s.

“Susan. Move out of the way.” Neil tries to move closer but Susan continues to block him.

“I’m sure Billy is very sorry—”

“No, I don’t think he is. Move.” Neil and Billy make the same conjecture, Neil was going to have to move Susan himself.

Ever the dominant man, Neil Hargrove pushes Susan Mayfield, but sometimes, a dominant man doesn’t know his strength. Susan loses her balance and to the horror of the children in the room, she falls hard. The table strikes the fatal spot between her head and neck with a crunch.

Billy knows that she’s not getting up. 

Neil pays no attention and gets in Billy’s face, “You say sorry, like a respectful and responsible young man.”

Billy can feel the tears forming in his eyes, “I’m sorry, sir.”

Neil seems satisfied with this and leaves the room.

Billy slumps in his chair and goes to put his head in his hands. Blood. Susan’s blood. Billy sinks out of his chair and onto the floor, next to Susan. The blood puddle rapidly seeps into the linoleum and onto the knees of Billy’s jeans. He has to make sure. He presses his fingers onto Susan’s neck, nothing. Nothing.

“I’m sorry.”

Billy pushes himself up. Hands almost sticking in Susan’s blood. His hands shake badly. He looks down the hallway to the bedrooms and walks slowly into his room. As quietly as possible Billy grabs his packed things. He needs to get out of this house.

Billy almost gets there, the front door is right there. But as he passes the living room he hears something.

“My stepdad killed my mom,” Maxine says.

Billy can feel the rage spilling into his veins as he stalks into the living room.

“What the hell are you doing?” Billy yells, pulling the phone from her hands and slamming it down on the receiver.

“I had to call the police, Neil he—” Maxine stumbles on her words, looking horrified at Billy. 

Billy pauses, feeling the anger simmer down.

“That’s why we’re leaving, shit stain.” Billy says gruffly, “Let’s go.”

Billy leaves the room without watching if she wasn’t behind him. He didn’t care. He gave her an out and she could take it or not. Billy opens the front door. He catches the time on the tacky clock on the wall before he goes, 7:37. Somehow the time grounds him. 

Billy’s hands shake like they never had before as he opens the car. Maxine stands at the passenger door side, looking distant. Once Billy finally got his door open, he got yanked by his jacket’s collar.

Billy falls onto his elbows. He feels his jacket dig into his underarms. His lower back burns from being dragged on the pavement. He thrashes and fights. Once he’s on the grass of the lawn the person lets go of the back of his jacket. Billy falls back, Neil’s horrible face looms over him.

“What’s going on here?” Neil asks patronizingly.

Billy feels frozen. This is it, he’s done. He was going to be on the ride to Cali; he was almost free. Neil kicks him in the ribs, effectively bringing him back to reality. 

“You trying to kidnap my daughter, boy?” Neil kicks again.

Billy shakes his head but this obviously isn’t enough for Neil. Another kick is delivered to Billy’s chest. Neil is going for another kick when out of the corner of his eye, Billy sees a flash of red.

“Maxine, no!” Billy shouts out.

This is enough warning for Neil who turns around, and without even thinking he lands a punch on Maxine’s face. She falls onto the grass. 

Neil stands over Billy, “What are the rules of this house?”

Billy coughs sure that something bloody comes out, “Respect and responsibility, sir.” Billy looks at the grass he coughed into, there isn’t anything dark coloring it.

“When you walk into that house again, you are going to clean up and go straight to bed.” Neil orders, “Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What are going to do?”

Before Billy can even respond, Neil crumples to his left. Maxine stands right behind him with her skateboard—now broken—over her head. It takes a while for Billy’s brain to connect the dots. 

Max had hit Neil with her skateboard.

(THIS IS THE END)

Billy pushed himself off of the ground, his body aching and screaming at him to stop. But he keeps going, and through coughs tells Maxine to get in the car. He throws his packed bag into the back seat of his car. In no time they were rushing off. Max didn’t have to ask where they were going, she had to know that they could not stay in Hawkins.

Billy’s hands tap on the steering wheel as he sits at the only major intersection in Hawkins. He’s never wanted to run a red light more in his life. He’s glad he doesn’t, police cars race across the intersection, taking the other route to their house.

Something clicks in Billy’s head, “Maxine, what did you tell the police?”

Maxine seems to either be so zoned out or purposefully avoiding the question. The light turns green, Billy floors it.

Billy can’t help the rise of his tone, nor his temper, “Maxine! Goddammit, tell me what you told the police!”

This seems to break Maxine out of her stupor, “I told them that Neil— that—um...and I think I told them my name. That’s it, I swear Billy.”

“Jesus fucking Christ Maxine. You screwed everything up. I told you before no cops!” Billy hits his hands against the steering wheel.

Billy speeds up. He’s on a rural road anyway. Like every other road in Hawkins. Hell, there’s even a cornfield to his left. So who gives a shit?

“What did you want me to do?!” Maxine starts screaming too, “Just watch as that happened?”

Billy stays silent but fuming. Going a little bit faster. He notices the blood on his hands. From Susan. He slows down the car and lowers his hands on the steering wheel. He’s glad he does too as another car passes by him, headlights stream into his car.

He slows down his pace significantly on the road. He turns around in his seat minding his tender ribs and spots the big truck slowly fade away. Hopefully not suspicious. 

“Billy! Watch out!”

Billy snaps forward. A horrible creature is in the middle of the road. It looks distinctly not human, despite being almost the same size and height. He wrenches his wheel to the right. He slams down on the breaks. So the crash into the trees wasn’t deadly, but his ribs certainly didn’t appreciate it.

Billy unbuckled his seatbelt and rolled out onto the grass. His whole body was aching and on fire at the same. The entirety of his short dinner came out. Pain racked his body as he violently threw up. He groaned and moaned, waiting for another feeling other than pain to register.

After what felt like forever, Billy could sit up. He opened the backseat door and grabbed his bag. He closed the door pathetically and rests gently against his Camaro. The Camaro that was now stuck to a tree. Billy didn’t want to acknowledge it, but there was no saving her not right now. He couldn’t go back to Hawkins but he had no car. He couldn’t hitchhike, not with Maxine. He looks at the tall impending trees of the forest. Fuck.

“Maxine!” Billy puts the strap of the bag across his chest, “Maxine!”

He stands on two legs, using the car as a crutch. He opens the passenger door. Maxine is sitting with her head between her knees.

“Dipshit, we have to get out of here, now.” Billy says, “We’re going to have to go through the forest.”

This gets her attention. “Billy we can’t. I’m not going to.”

“Okay then, go walk back to Hawkins see who’d want you. You’re never gonna see your friends again, Hawkins doesn’t have an orphanage.” Billy says with menace. 

This seems to change Maxine’s mind, she gets up, but very slowly. Billy notices that she’s still clutching onto her skateboard. 

“Let go of that piece of junk, we need to go.”

Maxine looks down at the skateboard in her hands. She lets it go slowly, the blood that was on Neil’s head scrapes down the passenger’s door.

Never has Billy wanted to strangle Maxine more, “What the hell Maxine! You got fucking blood in my car!”

Maxine looks at his Camaro, “It’s making out with a tree right now.”

Billy can feel the anger rising in his entire being. He turns around and stomps a path into the forest, wanting a cigarette and to punch something.


	3. The Gate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter, school was a priority for a little while. Now I have winter break so hopefully, I can crank out a few more chapters! Thank you for the support and comments

Steve’s mind keeps tricking him into thinking that there is a demogorgon in the dark spaces between the trees, his flashlight making the shadows worse. An owl hoots loudly to his right and Steve stops moving. The soft, repetitive clicking of his watch reassures him and he squeezes his nail bat. Without these items, he isn’t sure if his mind would stay intact. He forces himself to move forward. 

‘Something is behind you,’ the nagging feeling tells him, but he knows nothing is there. ‘But what if there is a horrible monster.’ It wouldn’t hurt to look. Steve imagines the demogorgon. It’s going to kill him, and he would be defenseless because he can’t see it. He turns around.

There’s nothing there. 

Steve shakes himself off and moves forward. If he did die here, the entirety of Hawkins would know that he is a failure once they found his body. Or maybe nobody would even care to find his body. He wants to stop thinking about dying, but like a moth to a flame he can’t. He checks over his shoulder and moves on. 

Steve knows it won’t work, but he attempts to trick himself. He’s walking towards nothing, he just decided to take a walk through the forest. Nothing was ahead of him because this was a safe, normal forest. But no matter how hard he tries he keeps looking behind him. 

Maybe Hargrove and Max have been ripped into little tiny unrecognizable shreds. He wouldn’t notice and step on what is left of their squishy remains. He would have to tell the police and their family. His mind played with the idea of the police thinking that he was their murderer. He didn’t want to be in this forest. Why did he go into this forest?

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a demogorgon. He waits to be killed, but nothing happens.

“That is the last time you're turning around or stopping,” Steve tells the empty forest, “You have to find Hargrove and Max”

When he finds Billy and Max the horrible thing that killed them will still be there. He would be quickly devoured. Why the hell did he decide to go through this forest?

Steve can’t get the image of the bloody car out of his head. He has to keep moving no matter what. He would probably walk up to Hargrove after he had killed Max. Steve felt the dread of having to fight Hargrove again. He’d probably die, Hargrove wouldn’t want to keep him alive. He wasn’t liking the survivability odds that his head was coming up with right now. 

_SNAP!_ Steve’s shoulder tense, head whipping around in an attempt to locate the sound. For a moment, he thinks nothing is wrong, but the entirety of his brain isn’t connected to his body when he moves forward. Very slowly but forward. The noise gets louder.

Something’s running towards him.

Steve stops walking. He knows he has to. But he can’t physically move. Oh god, he’s going to die. In a forest. The thing hits him. He feels no pain. Confused, Steve looks down. A mess of red hair is hugging him. He can start breathing again. 

“Holy shit Max you scared the crap out of me.” Steve moves to hug her back but realizes that a nail bat isn’t a very comfortable hugging tool. 

Max breaks the hug. “Sorry, I just knew it was you... Steve, we need help.” 

“We?” Steve squints in the dim moonlight and looks around.

Hargrove stalks awkwardly through the underbrush. Steve does a double-take. _Is that?_ Holy shit, there’s blood on his knees and his hands. Hargrove creeps closer, Steve pushes Max behind him.

“Hargrove,” Steve warns, holding his nail bat tightly shining the flashlight in Hargrove’s face. 

Billy squints through the light, “Harrington? You trying to find the sea of ice cream out here in the woods?”

Steve’s cheeks burn, lowering the flashlight in his hands. He remembers the many embarrassing times that Hargrove had come to Scoops. Even though he’s glad he quit, that uniform would haunt him forever. 

Billy’s face pales, and he points to the nail bat in Steve’s hand, “Harrington, what the hell is that?”

But Steve avoids the question, calling out the elephant in the woods “Why are you covered in blood?”

“None of your business. You need to leave.” Hargrove takes a couple of steps toward Steve.

“But Billy, Steve can take us home,” Max steps forward between the two.

Steve feels something crawl into his heart and die. Max has a bruise on her left cheek that expands towards her eye. He drops his nail bat and flashlight as he stoops down to look at Max’s face.

“Did he do that to you?” Steve asks Max.

“What the hell, Harrington!” Hargrove lunges at Steve. 

Max blocks Hargrove from touching Steve by putting herself between them, “Billy stop it! We need Steve to help.”

Before Max can start to explain, Steve somehow knows that his ideas of Hargrove hurting Max were entirely illogical. Hargrove looks outraged and more hurt than Steve has ever seen him. 

Max turns towards Steve, “He didn’t hurt me. We can explain this.”

Billy moves Max from between the two of them, “No we can’t, we’ll be leaving now.”

“Where?” Steve explains.

“Out of Hawkins.” Hargrove grabs Max’s arm with his blood-encrusted hand, she starts to struggle in his grasp.

“Billy, we should go back to Hawkins and try to explain,” Max says, yanking out of Hargrove’s tight grip with a desperate look in her eyes.

Steve pulls Max away from Hargrove, “Explain what, Max?”

Max looks sad and serious all of the sudden, “My mom, she—” 

“It doesn’t matter what happened. I’m never going back to Hawkins, and neither is Maxine if she can’t keep her trap shut.” Hargrove glares at Max.

Steve pushes Billy back, “Hargrove, you can go wherever you want, I don’t give a shit. But Max wants to go back to Hawkins, she can tell her story, and you can stay out of it.” 

“This is none of your fucking business Harrington, get out of my way,” Hargrove gets in his face, so close he can feel his warm breath, “Or I’ll make you move.”

Steve and Billy stare at each other.

Max steps out from behind Steve and turns to him, “Guys, stop. Steve, you have a car, right?”

Steve nods, breaking eye contact with Hargrove.

“It doesn’t matter, Steve isn’t taking us anywhere, we’re taking the bus, Maxine.” Hargrove grabs Max’s arm again and begins to pull her away.

Steve walks over to Hargrove and yanks his grip off of Max, “There isn’t a bus stop around here for miles. I can get you guys back to Hawkins.” 

“Get it through your thick fucking skull Harrington,” Hargrove gets back in Steve’s face, “I’m not going back to Hawkins and neither is Maxine. I’m not giving her the chance to squeal to the pigs.”

Steve’s fist connects with Hargrove’s face before he can even think about what he’s doing. Hargrove stumbles back. Steve throws another punch.

“Steve, stop!” Max yells at him.

Hargrove gets his footing. He throws a punch that connects with Steve’s nose. There isn’t a crack, but hell it burns. Tears cloud Steve’s vision. 

Someone pulls the collar of Steve’s puffy jacket. He stumbles back and tries to throw another punch at Hargrove, but misses. He ends up feeling like a flailing newborn. Steve dodges as Hargrove throws a punch at him.

Max keeps yelling at both of them to stop.

Steve takes a few steps back as he tries to re-stabilize himself. Steve sees Billy’s face perfectly illuminated by the moonlight. His expression is something that Steve can’t really understand. It’s almost like he wants the fight. 

This expression catches too much of Steve’s attention, and soon enough Hargrove punches him again making Steve lose his balance. The ground under him is moving. Or slippery. Before he completely falls he grabs onto the front of Billy’s jean jacket. When Steve falls, he brings Hargrove down with him. 

Steve lands harshly on the ground with Billy on top of him. He crawls out from under Hargrove not wanting to wait for him to make the first move. Soon Steve can’t tell what’s happening. A couple of weak blows hit his side. He tries to retaliate by punching and kicking, but he isn’t sure what’s actually hitting Hargrove. Steve feels like a pig rolling around in the dirt.

Steve and Billy start to unintentionally roll in a direction. Steve can actually see his target. Hargrove and the bag across his chest are illuminated by unnatural red light. It’s like the ground beneath them is glowing.

Something’s not right.

Steve stills. His head dips into the stickiness around him. Everythings wrong. He feels bile at the back of his mouth. This is the same material as the tunnels. Hargrove takes this chance to get the upper hand with Steve. 

“Hargrove. Stop.” Steve tries to take deeper breaths, Billy’s legs digging into his side aren't helping. 

Hargrove starts to laugh. Like it’s pouring out of him. He raises his hand to punch Steve. Steve’s mind reminds him of last year, the same picture, Hargrove over him and ready to punch the daylights out of him. 

Before Hargrove can bring his fist down Max runs at him. Steve is sure that Max meant to push Hargrove off of him. But now he’s just being pushed back with Max and Billy. But rather than his head scraping against the dirt the ground just gives out from under him. He desperately tries to grab anything. The feeling of terror starts to grab hold of his brain.

Steve is falling. Into what, he isn’t sure.


	4. Basically Hell

Billy’s lungs are burning, he tries to cough, but nothing helps. His lungs feel worse than that time Tommy gave him year-old weed. Billy’s throat feels like it’s made out of sandpaper. He forces himself to take shallow breaths. 

Wait, how long was he out? He remembers fighting with Harrington and then falling. Everything went black after that, and now his head hurts and he’s laying on his back. He has a perfect view of the sky, the tips of the trees in view. But the ground feels spongy, black and red clouds cover the stars, and the trees look like hands clawing to get at him. Billy pushes himself up, a slight residue from the ground covers his body. He shudders.

_Where’s Harrington?_

Billy looks to his right and sees Harrington clawing at the ground like he wants to crawl into it. Billy does a double-take when he looks at the ground. He blinks a couple of times because it looks like the ground is stitching itself together. Ground isn’t supposed to do that. Harrington starts to hyperventilate as he claws at the dirt. 

Billy tries to shake off his headache, Harrington losing it beside him makes Billy try to focus on his surroundings. 

He can’t even tell if they’re in the same forest. He doesn’t know shit about trees but knows that they don’t look like _this_. All twisted and grotesque. Everything is corrupted by black vines. White flecks float in the air like snow that has been stopped in the middle of falling. Billy feels a shiver run through his entire body. He feels cold to the bottom of his soul. He has a feeling that he’s never going to be warm when he’s here.

Billy wraps his jean jacket tighter around himself, “Harrington, what the hell is happening?”

Harrington doesn’t look to be in any state to answer questions. He is curled up into a ball so that Billy can only see the top of his head, where Harrington’s hands are trying to pull out his hair. Harrington’s fancy watch on his wrist is cracked. The watch doesn’t seem to be moving.

“Steve?” Maxine whispers fear evident in her meek voice. 

Harrington’s head whips up, Billy doesn’t think he’s ever seen anybody as scared as Harrington looks. But in a second it’s all gone, a blank slate. It’s like he took an eraser to his face and wiped off his emotions. Billy’s impressed, but he would also like to know what the hell is happening.

“Where are we, Harrington?” Billy asks.

Steve and Maxine look at each other. 

“We need to go now,” Harrington picks himself off of the ground, but once he stands it seems like he doesn’t know where to go.

Maxine starts to frantically look around, “What happened to the portal?”

“Portal?!” Billy asks.

“I don’t know, it just disappeared, we have to find a new way home,” Harrington explains

Before Billy can even process what Harrington said, Maxine’s eyes widen, “Steve? Do you have your bat?”

“Why would he need that?” Billy asks.

They both ignore him, Harrington moving on to say, “It didn’t come with me on the trip over.”

“But isn’t everything mirrored here?” Maxine asks, sounding like the craziest person he knows. Harrington is the close second. 

“Maxine, what do you mean? What the hell is going on?” Billy asks.

Apparently, they both think that it’s Ignore Billy day, but they’re on the same page because they start to hunt for the torture device bat. Harrington seems to have spotted something and runs towards it. Maxine follows him.

“What’s going on Maxine?” Billy says following both of them.

Maxine ignores him again, “Did you find it, Steve?”

Harrington is stooping down, pulling at something, “Yeah I got it, but it’s stuck.”

“What do you mean ‘it’s stuck’?” Billy runs to the left side of Harrington.

The nail bat _is_ stuck. Harrington pulls at it, but it’s like the earth is fighting him, trying to consume the bat. Harrington puts his whole body into taking it away but doesn’t seem to be doing much.

“What the hell?” Billy breathes in astonishment.

It looks like the ground gives one final pull, making Harrington lose his grip and fly backward. Billy looks back to the nail bat, and it’s gone, the dirt swallowed it up.

“Well, Harrington, looks like you just lost a game of Tug-of-War,” Billy chuckles, “To dirt.”

“Shut the hell up, Hargrove,” Steve says, lying on the ground, his chest rising and falling.

Billy doesn’t know why he’s making fun of Harrington, but he doesn’t need to know why to have fun, “It’s the same problem as always, Harrington, you just need to plant your feet.” 

Harrington gets up from the dirt and screams in Billy’s face, “SHUT THE HELL UP!”

Harrington pushes him, making Billy stumble backward. 

“Guys, stop!” Maxine pleads, getting both of their attention, “You can fight all you want later, but we need to get out of this forest now.”

Harrington calms down, taking a few deep breaths. He winces.

Billy’s still confused, “Why? What is going on?”

Harrington runs his hands through his hair and says. “We can explain this later, we need to get out of here.”

Billy stomps over to Harrington and grabs the collar of his stupid polo shirt, “No you tell me what’s going on, right now.”

Harrington looks like he’s trying to hold himself together, “Hargrove, Max is right, we don’t have time for this shit. If we want to survive we’re going to have to work together.”

Billy loosens the grip on the front of his shirt, “What the hell are you talking about!?”

Billy’s yelling echoes. Maxine and Harrington look at each other again. Suddenly he understands, if they are scared of something in these woods, all the yelling that him and Harrington have been doing has definitely alerted that something.

The feeling of cold intensifies, Billy looks around for the source. His eye catches movement in the clouds, a huge _Alien_ -esque creature materializes. His heart drops, surely this was it. He has to crane his neck to see the whole thing. This huge fucking spider monster is going to eat him, just like the ground did to Harrington’s bat. He waits for death but all it does is loom in the clouds.

A growl comes from Billy’s left, everyone jumps and turns towards it. A horrendous slimy dog with no eyes approaches from the fog. The thing looks like it’s going to attack. But it opens its pointy face into a bloody tooth filled flower thing and lets out a deafening roar. Like all good dogs do.

“RUN!” Someone yells.

Billy doesn’t need to be told twice. The bag that he has across his chest bangs against his left leg as he runs as fast as he can through the forest. The vines snaking in and out through the trees aren’t helping him run, and when he looks around, Harrington and Maxine are also tripping on them. He is forced to take deeper breaths as he tries to not die. He consequently wants to rip his lungs out of his chest. 

Too focused on his failing lungs, Billy misses a huge vine in their path. He lands hard against the ground. The pain that strikes his chest is unparalleled. He chokes and coughs. To make things worse, that dog-flower-shit-head jumps on his back. Its claws dig through the layers of skin in his back. Billy screams, not being able to help himself, knowing that he’s going to alert more of these horrid things. 

Billy looks up to see Harrington swinging his leg back, ready to kick Billy in the face. Certain that Harington is taking pity on him by delivering his final blow, Billy puts his face into the gross slimy dirt. But he doesn’t die.

Someone helps him up. _Jesus_ , his chest feels like a flaming dumpster fire. 

Harrington puts Billy’s arm around his shoulder. Maxine turns around and runs to put her shoulders under Billy’s other arm. Both of them trying to support him is unbalanced and kind of hurts, but he has the feeling that everything is going to cause him pain right now. Billy feels like dead weight, but they all somehow run fast enough through the forest.

Once they can see the road, Billy can move on his own. Harrington runs to the right, and everyone follows. It’s easier to run on the road, but Billy still feels like his chest area is going to explode or give up. Billy kind of wants it to give up. That feeling intensifies when he turns and sees two of the dog-flower-things burst out of the forest. 

A diner rises on the horizon. Steve yells from a few paces behind him, “Go to the diner!”

Billy’s entire body aches, but he doesn’t want to take his chances by going any slower. Breathing makes him want to die. He can’t decide which is worse, dying from lack of oxygen or being eaten alive. He accelerates his pace. 

Billy almost falls as he sharply turns into the dirt parking lot of the 50s diner. He wrenches the door open, an annoying bell rings out. Maxine runs through the door, followed by Harrington. Billy slams the door shut.

He runs to push at a booth’s seat. It slides across the floor with some ease, but Harrington runs over to help him. Billy really hopes this works. He runs over to slam his body weight against the seat covering the door. Just in time too because something big slams itself against the barricade that he made. 

Billy prays to whatever god is out there that no flower-dog will get through. Billy tries to recover his breath but can’t stop himself from coughing. Why is everything trying to kill him? Harrington motions for him to cover his nose and mouth with his jacket. Once Billy does so, he can take deeper breaths without his lungs setting on fire. He notices though that it takes him a lot longer to recover than it normally would.

In all the time that Billy takes to breathe, the flower dogs stop pounding at the door. Billy hopes they lost interest. The ache starts to take over his back and chest again.

“Woah, man, we need to take a look at that. You’re bleeding through your jacket.” Harrington looks pale, Billy can’t tell from what, his wound or the fact that they were all in basically hell.

“It’s fine, Harrington,” Billy says as he takes off his jacket, his hands shake badly.

Harrington takes one look at his back, and his face hardens, “Max go look for a first aid kit.”

“Harrington, that’s not needed.”

Max stops in the middle of getting up.

“Max, go,” Steve says sternly.

Max leaves, looking very confused.

“Harrington, it’s fine, I just have to put pressure on it.”

Harrington looks distant for a moment, then he refocuses, “I’m not letting a little girl see that.”

Billy looks at Harrington for a moment. Something in his stomach doesn’t sit right. Max is a child. No child should have to be here. He feels stupid for not noticing that. 

“Hargrove, you’re kinda bleeding out,” Harrington says awkwardly.

Billy breaks eye contact. He stands up and takes a seat on top of one of the diner tables. Harrington follows him like a lost puppy. 

He gingerly takes off his getaway bag and pulls the first shirt he sees out. Once he has the shirt in his hands he realizes that he won’t be able to put enough pressure on the wound because of where it is.

Billy hates his life, “Harrington, I need you to hold this against my back.”

Harrington looks confused but follows Billy’s orders. He holds it far too loosely on his back.

“Harrington, harder,” Billy grimaces, “I mean, put more pressure on it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, now shut the hell up and do it.”

Billy knows that this is what he’s supposed to be doing, but his back hurts ten times more now. He really needs a cigarette. Or to know what the hell is going on. He knows that they aren’t in Kansas anymore. He tries to think about where that reference is from.

“So, Hargrove, what am I doing?” Harrington asks tentatively.

“Getting rid of the bleeding, and then we can bandage it,” Billy says, trying to not move.

“Oh, okay.” Harrington says, Billy can feel him lessen the pressure and take a look at the wound, “I think it stopped bleeding.”

Billy sighs, “Do you know if Maxine found those bandages?”

Harrington shook his head. “She hasn’t come back.”

“Go find her, I’ll be fine here,” Billy says, not entirely sure if he will be fine here.

Harrington goes away. Billy’s not sure how stable Harrington is right now, but unfortunately, his little shit step sister and Harrington are the only people that Billy has in this hellscape. He knows that Harrington and Maxine knew each other, but they seem weirdly close for a babysitting relationship. 

Billy only hopes that once they get out of here Maxine, himself, and Harrington will go in opposite directions. How could that even happen though? Susan’s dead and Maxine has no other guardian than Neil. Billy shivers, it fucking cold here.

Laughter fills Billy’s ears. He looks up to see both Harrington and Maxine come out of the swinging door of the kitchen. Harrington’s head is tilted back, smile wide, and somehow able to laugh in this fucking place. Billy is struck by a fact that he’s known ever since he came to Hawkins; Steve Harrington is dangerous and he can’t allow himself to get too close. Billy can’t be like he was in Cali.

The laughter dies down as they both get closer to him. Maxine starts to tie a bandana around her nose and mouth.

Billy snaps out of his thoughts and asks, “What are we doing? Robbing a bank?” 

“No, it helps you breathe better, here,” Harrington holds out a red bandana, “Max found the first aid kit.”

While Billy slowly ties the bandana around his face, Harrington opens the kit and looks confused. Billy smacks his hand away and grabs the cotton and gauze. When he hands the materials to Harrington, Billy remembers what he said earlier.

“Maxine, go away,” Billy ignores Maxine’s glare and continues, “Go. Make sure that nothings gonna come through the back door of the kitchen. Go!”

Maxine follows his instructions and stomps out of there.

“Try to stay in sight, okay?!” Harrington adds as she exits, sweeter than Billy had been. 

“Okay, pretty boy, you gotta help me some more,” Billy says while taking off his shirt.

Harrington reacts just how Billy wants him to, he screws his face up and takes a step away from him. Before Billy can celebrate Harrington’s uncomfortableness, his face shifts to horror.

Harrington whispers, “Holy shit.”

Billy remembers that his back doesn’t hurt just because of the flower-dog things. He is now more aware of the bruising on his ribs and the scrape on his lower back. Billy contemplates how fast he would die if he walks straight into the forest and screams.

“What happened?” 

“None of your fucking business Harrington, focus on fixing my back, not ogling it.”

Harrington shuts his mouth, still staring.

Hoping to change the subject Billy asks, “Can we talk about what is happening now? Or maybe where are we?”

While Harrington talks, Billy instructs him on how to place the gauze and cotton. Harrington gets a little too close for comfort a couple of times, his breath brushing Billy’s ear lightly. But they finish quickly enough, Billy puts his shirt on at a breakneck speed. 

Billy has no choice but to process all of the information given to him. Everything that Harrington said to him has to be true because he saw it. His brain tries to catch up with everything that has happened to him so far. Billy feels like he’s losing his grip on reality.

Harrington doesn’t look much better, very pale, and distant. Billy almost can’t believe that they were fighting an hour ago. Was it just an hour? He finds a clock in the diner that’s in the shape of a pair of cartoon lips, it reads 8:49. That couldn’t be right, the fight with Harrington hadn’t been that short. He watches the clock, realizing that it isn’t moving. No time in hell apparently. 

This shit is fucked up. Why is this happening to him? He can’t believe that Maxine has to deal with this, she could be killed.

Speaking of Maxine, he looks around, and can’t see her. “Where the hell is Maxine?”

Billy jumps off of the table and pushes through the swinging door. He doesn’t know why he’s so worried. Even though he can breathe much better with the bandana, a tightness forms in his chest. He stomps to the swinging door separating the kitchen.

“Maxine! Where the hell are you?”

A redhead pops up from between the counters of the kitchen. “Jesus, Billy, I’m right here!”

“What the hell, Maxine! Why weren’t you guarding the door? One of those flower dogs could have gotten all of us.”

“Flower-dogs? Oh, you mean the demodogs.”

“I don’t give a shit what they’re called, you should have stayed in sight like Harrington asked.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Billy. She’s fine, let’s move on.” Harrington says, looking tired.

Billy yells, “No! She’s being a little shit like usual and needs to learn how to be responsible” 

“I hate you so much, Billy!” Maxine glowers at Billy, tears in her eyes. 

“Oh really? I—”

“HEY!” Harrington hollers, “Both of you need to shut the hell up, there are a million demodogs all around us!”

Billy gawks at Harrington, he’s somehow managed to be outraged and terrified at the same time.

Billy watches as Harrington stomps towards him, “You need to stop being an asshole right now. Let’s all go to bed.”

Billy storms out of the kitchen and finds himself a booth to lay in. As he lays down, he can see Maxine walk out of the kitchen. There’s a haunted look on her face.

For the first time, Harrington’s insult hurts Billy. He was being an asshole. Harrington did just save his life. Billy turns in his uncomfortable diner seat. And Maxine did just watch her mother die, and Neil… well there was nothing Billy could do about that. He could try to be slightly nicer, but he isn’t really sure how. A pit digs into his stomach.

Was Billy so broken that he didn’t know how to be kind?

Maybe the best he can do is get Max out of this place. She deserves to have a chance to start over in Hawkins, and Billy is her best shot. 

But what is going to happen to him? Billy isn’t sure what he’s going to do if he gets back to the real world. Or what will be there. Neil would find some way to ruin his life. A trapped feeling rests in Billy’s heart. It doesn’t matter.

Tired of everything, Billy forces himself to fall asleep.


	5. Dirt Pile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! Chapter updates might slow down for a bit, school's kinda kicking my ass right now. I really enjoy reading your comments, they make my day!

Steve had panicked when Hargrove and Max started yelling at each other, he felt his sanity slipping away from him every time they yelled. He knew that he was going to start crying if he didn’t stop them, and there is no way in any form of hell that he would cry in front of Billy Hargrove. The best excuse Steve could think of was making everyone go to bed, a horrible idea since he hasn’t slept well in a year. It works with the kids that he babysits.

Steve is learning that his babysitting tricks are not working on him as he lays in an uncomfortable booth seat. The plastic makes annoyingly loud sounds every time he moves. So he stiffly tries to go to sleep like there are not a million things that want to kill him right outside the diner. He tries really hard not to overthink, an impossible task since the Upside Down is the easiest place to overthink in.

_Why did his nail bat disappear? He can’t fight anything in here, not without his nail bat._

It was a cruel trick, his nail bat disappearing. Steve doesn’t know why but when he ‘lost a game of Tug-of-War to dirt’ as Hargrove put it, he felt like someone was laughing at him. Someone other than Hargrove. Why didn’t the ground just swallow the nail bat immediately when they all came over? It was like something purposefully gave him hope just to take it away. 

_What if the demodogs come back? How can Steve protect Max if he doesn’t have any weapons? What if Max was being eaten by demodogs right now?_

The mental vision is too strong, Steve has to turn around in his booth, loud plastic seats be damned. He faces Max, on the other booth seat, a table between them. She’s either really sleeping or faking it. Steve can’t blame her for doing either. He still can’t get over the fact that Max is here. He has a child with him. In a place where everything wants to kill them at every turn, and he’s so useless.

_How are they going to get out? What if one of them gets possessed? He really hopes it’s not Hargrove. Steve cannot fight Hargrove. Again._

Steve’s hand brushes over the broken glass of his watch. He looks down, the hands of the watch have been stuck on 8:49 ever since they got into the Upside Down. He tries to distract himself by willing the hands to move with the force. He still can’t believe that Dustin got him to watch that nerdy shit. Holy shit, Dustin. Usually when people are taken, shit is happening in Hawkins, and Steve can’t do anything about it. 

He's losing his mind in this diner. Steve carefully gets up and treads lightly to the kitchen. Hargrove looks like he’s fallen asleep.

A weird look for him, so Steve can’t help but stop and stare. Billy’s eyes are soft when he’s asleep, the rest of his face is covered with his bandana but seems more relaxed. Steve still notices the tension in the rest of his body, probably from his cuts. Steve’s not sure what happened to him, but he knows that the demodogs did not do that much damage to his back. 

Steve’s stomach rumbles loudly, reminding him of his original path to the kitchen. He pushes through the kitchen doors and starts to rifle through the cabinets. He finds a few unopened but slimy water bottles and a couple cans of soup. He avoids the cream of mushroom which tastes like sludge even when warm. 

Once he puts his finds onto the counter, he starts looking for the can opener. He turns a corner, and his long arms accidentally hit a baking pan causing it to fall on the floor with a deafening noise. Steve winces hoping he didn’t wake anybody up or alert any demodogs. 

He waits, and after nothing happens allows himself to move. 

He carefully walks around the kitchen, and finally finds a can opener. In less than a minute, Steve opens the can and is able to have his dinner of cold soup. Steve turns around to see Hargrove standing in the doorway, making him jump 

“You scared the shit of me, Hargrove,” Steve whisper-yells, trying not to wake Max.

“With you making a big fuss in here I just had to check out what was going on,” Hargrove says, sauntering over to the counter to pick up a bottle of water, lowering the bandana on his face to drink it. 

Steve looks down at the soup that he spilled on the ground. He didn’t think that cleaning the spill would be necessary. It’s the Upside Down everything’s already dirty. It’s only been a couple of hours and he’s ready for a shower. 

He took off his bandana and took a hesitant gulp from his soup can like he’s drinking soda. It sure did taste like cold soup.

“Ew, get a spoon, Harrington,” Billy says opening up a can of soup for himself.

Steve feels his cheeks burn, he was so hungry that he didn’t think of getting a spoon. He knows that he didn’t eat breakfast, but he can’t remember if he ate lunch. 

Hargrove closes the door full of dirty goo-covered utensils, and says, “Nevermind then.” 

Steve finishes his soup and puts his bandana back on. He sits awkwardly in the kitchen, trying not to watch Hargrove eat his cold soup. Maybe he should leave, but Hargrove’s not asking him to go. Should he start a conversation? He tries to think of topics, but what could he say to his rival that he is now stuck in the Upside Down with? He knows that they should probably get on better terms.

“So, um, those storm clouds look bad don’t they?” Steve asks, regretting it the second he does.

Hargrove’s eyebrows furrowed, “Are you trying to make small talk with me, Harrington?” 

“Yes, um, no… I just—,” Steve groans, “I don’t know, man, we’re stuck in— _here_. And I feel like we should try to—you know...”

It’s a good thing that Hargrove finished his soup because he can’t seem to contain his laughter any longer. His laughter isn’t friendly

“Come on, man, it’s just I would prefer to lower the number of things in this place trying to hurt me,” Steve says desperately.

Hargrove stops laughing, and stares at Steve, “Are you asking for a truce, pretty boy?” Steve can’t make out his expression, 

Steve looks away from Hargrove, “Sure, a truce, then we can walk away from each other once this ends.”

Billy contemplates this, still staring at Steve. _Jesus_ , Steve feels like Hargrove was trying to stare into his soul.

“Okay, on one condition,” Hargrove says finally, “We get Maxine out.”

Steve’s eyes squint, “Yeah, man that’s kind of a given.”

“Above me and you,” Hargrove adds, “If the time comes, she gets out first, even if it means that we have to die. She gets out first.”

Out of all the things Steve was expecting Billy to say, that was not it. Since when did Hargrove care about Maxine above himself? Steve supposes this truce is better than whatever they had going on before, but it honestly sounds like a death wish to him.

Steve says, “Okay, I’ll get Max out, but I want to help you too. You deserve to get out as much as she does.”

“Cut it with the hero shit, Harrington,” Hargrove glares at Steve, “We save Max, that’s my condition.”

“Why are we even putting conditions on a truce?” Steve asks, crosses his arms, and says, “I want a condition then.”

Billy scoffs, “Your condition is that I don’t punch you in the face.”

“I don’t think that’s—”

A loud howl cuts him off, Steve’s blood runs cold.

“I’ll guard the back door,” Billy says, moving to block the door with his body.

Steve runs out of the kitchen and into the seating area. The wide windows show a band of five demodogs sprinting toward the diner. Steve races to get to the door, pushing up against it.

The demodogs slam against the door. He really wishes he had more help because he can feel the dogs slowly pushing the door open. The constant back and forth between Steve and the demodog causes the bell at the top of the door to keep ringing. 

Max appears at Steve’s side, helping him push back the persevering forces of the demodogs. Despite all of their efforts, Steve feels the door moving ever so slowly open. He knows that there’s no way they could hold them off forever.

Steve looked over to Max, “When I tell you to, let go, and find whatever weapon you can.”

“What?! No way Steve!”

He didn’t have time to explain, “Max! Just trust me!” 

She shuts up and reluctantly nods her head. Steve feels the demodog get one more inch closer to opening the door. He really hopes this works

“NOW!”

It did not work. Steve was expecting the sudden lack of pressure on the door to throw the demodogs off, allowing Max and him the time to find weapons. Unfortunately, the block that they had made on the door was stronger than he expected. The demodogs barely pause and funnel through the crack in their barricade.

A demodog jumps toward him and Steve kicks it in its little slimy face. He looks around for something to defend himself with. He runs over to one of the tables and pushes it over to block his path. That doesn’t work, two demodogs jump over it easily. Steve picks up the closest and starts swinging.

Steve hits one hard on its head with the chair in his hands, it crumples. Another one is fast approaching. Before he can even swing, Hargrove comes in with a fire extinguisher and knocks it out. Hargrove moves on to the last one, currently attacking Max. He hits it on the neck, killing it.

No other demodogs come forward, they all wait, breathing hard. Hargrove turns around to face Steve, and yells, “You fucking idiot, Max almost got killed!”

Steve lets go of the chair in his hand, “I couldn’t exactly save her, I was being killed!” 

“I was doing fine by myself!” Max interjects.

“Shut up,” Hargrove says to Max, and then turns to Steve, “Harrington we have an agreement.”

“I know, Hargrove. She’s fine, you saved her.” 

“Agreement?” Max asks, looking between the two boys.

A little twitch comes from a demodog at Max’s feet, silencing everyone in the room. Steve smashes the chair’s leg on its head.

“We should leave here before more of the demodogs come,” Max says.

“And go where?” Hargrove asks, “There could be a million more of those things outside.”

“Getting away from the woods is our first priority,” Steve says, Max nods.

Billy sighs, “Fine, let’s get everything we can from here and go.”

They all go to the kitchen. Steve leaves his chair, it was an effective weapon but impractical to carry. He breathes heavily, the bandana on his face stops whatever’s in the air from hurting him, but it’s harder to recover his breath after that fight. Hargrove puts his bag on the counter, and Steve puts the water bottles in it.

Billy and Max fight over a can of soup. Steve quells their argument saying that they don’t have time to eat, and they just should go. They steal whatever they can fit into Hargrove’s bag, and get out of the diner.

It’s a unanimous agreement to walk into the field that is beside the diner. Anything to get away from the forest. It’s hard not to look back at the diner, Steve almost feels like each time he looks back he’s daring the demodogs to come after them again. He feels his panic rise, but he tries not to look like a crazy person next to Max and Hargrove.

“You can keep calling me Max,” Max says, breaking the silence.

“What?” Both Steve and Hargrove say at the same time.

“You can keep calling me Max, Billy,” She repeats.

“When did I even start calling you that, shitbird?” 

“In the diner, you called me Max.” 

A look of realization crosses Hargrove’s face, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Steve scoffs, and Max rolls her eyes. They walk together in silence, neither Max nor Steve have the strength to call Billy out on his lie. Despite the Upside Down taking a toll on all of them, they're in higher spirits than they had been before. They had defeated 5 demodogs with some ease. It’s a miracle that all of them were relatively unscathed. 

The mood drops as they keep walking when they realize that they have to choose between going through a cornfield or the woods. Neither one seems like the better option. In Steve’s opinion, a cornfield was just a shorter version of the woods. But the actual woods just lead to more woods.

“I think this cornfield leads to the Wright’s house, and once we get there we can eat and rest,” Steve says, almost hoping for someone to argue with him.

Hargrove and Max don’t say anything, nodding, and follow him into the cornfield. As they walk between the rows of corn, Steve feels the familiar knot of dread in his chest. He can’t see much other than corn. He looks behind him, just to make sure that Hargrove is still there.

Steve wishes that he had grabbed something from the diner. But his mind was fogged with the idea of getting away from the woods. His hands feel empty without the nail bat, and it doesn’t feel right to be leading the group without a weapon. He tries to ignore his fear by counting how many rows of corn they pass. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..._

By the time he gets to fifty, the dread in his chest increases. He’s never walked inside a cornfield before, but this seems to be taking an abnormally long time to get through. His legs burn, but he doesn’t stop walking. _56, 57, 58, 59, 60..._

“Harrington!” 

Steve stops dead in his tracks and whips his head around, the sound of Billy’s voice is miles away. He must be miles away too because Steve can’t see him anywhere. He thought that Max and Hargrove were right behind him, but Steve can’t remember the last time he checked to make sure they were really there. 

“Hargrove! Max! Where’d you guys go?!” Steve yells into the empty rows of corn around him.

Max calls out to his right, “Steve! I’m here!” 

“Stay there, Max, I’ll go to you!” Steve calls back.

Steve starts to move through the rows of corn to where he thinks he heard Max.

“Steve!”

Max’s voice has moved in the opposite direction, coming from where he was before.

“Max?!”

“Steve!”

The voice stays in the same place, so Steve runs to his left.

“Steve!”

It’s moved again, Steve switches his direction. The feeling of dread increases. _What if Max was being taken by a demogorgon?_ Steve is her only hope. He is going to fail her if he can’t find her.

The voice kept yelling his name, each time from a different direction. Steve kept trying to run to it. He can’t even tell if he’s running to Billy or Max. No matter how much he keeps running, he’s alone. Exactly like one of his nightmares.

He had to stop, the voice split into many, coming from all directions. Steve fell to the ground, holding his hands over his ears. Nothing is making sense, the familiar feeling of someone playing a cruel trick on him returns. He really wants his nail bat, just having it in his hands would make him feel tremendously better.

The voices stop, he carefully lifts his head. He’s still alone in this stupid fucking cornfield. But the voices stopped. He takes a couple of deep breaths.

“Steve!” The voice calls

He doesn’t call back, not sure if the voice he’s hearing is actually there.

“Steve!” Max’s voice yells.

He doesn’t move.

“Steve!” Max’s voice calls out again, coming from his right.

He gets up and calls back, “Max!”

“Steve!”

He starts to walk towards the voice. As Max’s tone gets more urgent, he runs faster. The voice stays in the same place, and as he keeps running it keeps getting louder. And soon he can see Max, he lets out a sigh of relief. 

That sigh of relief is cut short when the ground under him rumbles, just like what he would imagine an earthquake to feel like. Vines start to grow towards him, grabbing at his feet. His already unsteady legs are pulled, causing Steve to smack his head against the ground. 

“Harrington!”

Steve feels himself losing consciousness, and when he wakes up, he can’t tell where he is. The world around him is shifting, Steve couldn’t tell if the ground is actually moving or if he’s dizzy. His stomach doesn’t care which one it is, quickly rejecting the cold soup that he had eaten earlier. 

The dizziness passes but is replaced with a headache. It’s a familiar pain, Steve remembers when Tommy and him ran headfirst into each other, giving each other concussions. When that happened, Steve had passed out for a few seconds and was a little nauseous after. But he didn’t vomit. Steve starts to panic about the severity of his concussion.

Before he has the chance to thoroughly panic, Steve feels something slimy and horrible touch his hand. Everything that’s touching him is slimy and horrible, but this feels different. Steve quickly looks over to his hand, regretting it because of the pain in his head. 

What looks like a mouth is trying to eat his hand, Steve jerks away. It’s a horrible mix of dirt, vines, and a person's face twisted in agony. He starts slipping off of the monster thing that he’s on. Before he can fall completely off of the creature, it grabs him by the neck.

His breath is stolen from him as he dangles a foot off of the ground. He thrashes and claws at the cold hands wrapped around his neck. His headache increases and his vision gets blurry. He sees a figure holding a red thing running at him. The figure swings at him, and he falls the rest of the way to the ground. 

He can finally breathe again. The air feels toxic as it goes in, and Steve realizes that his bandana has fallen off. He coughs, which doesn’t help the burn of his lungs. The corn under him doesn’t feel all that comfortable to lay on, but his head hurts.

Even as the world feels unstable, he knows that he is far too close to the big dirt pile, but it’s not just a dirt pile, its body is made out of, well, bodies. Slimy and gray-colored bodies. Like life was sucked out of them. The face’s, legs, and skin are all glued together by vines and corn. And dirt. Steve wants to pretend that it is just a dirt pile. 

The entire thing leads to a mouth. Max tries to run over to where Steve is on the ground, but before she can get to him, the creature tries to snap at her. Hargrove pushes her out of the way and gets thrown on the ground for his effort. Hargrove breathes heavily while getting back to his feet. Steve watches as he counters by hitting the dirt pile with his fire extinguisher.

But when Hargrove tries to pull the fire extinguisher out of the creature, and it sticks. Just like Steve’s nail bat, it sinks into the creature, gone forever. Now they are defenseless again, this convinces Steve to get up off of the floor.

They need to get going. _Now_.

Steve stumbles over to where Hargrove and Max are, his head still pounding. A vine draws back to hit Hargrove in the face, but before it has the chance to, Max runs in front of it. She gets hit in the upper arm and lets out a yelp.

They all don’t stick around to see what the dirt pile’s next move is and run away. The Wright’s house is fortunately not far away, Steve’s not sure when the house got that close, but he doesn’t question it. He doesn’t trust his head about anything.

Steve feels himself stumbling more than usual, his head hurts, and he feels disorientated. The creature takes advantage of his lack of coordination and attacks his ankles. He tries really hard to keep running, but the sharp pain in his head causes him to slow down. It doesn’t help that the world doesn’t want to stay still. He has to keep reminding himself that he doesn’t want to be eaten by a dirt pile. 

Hargrove and Max take pity on him and support his weight. And despite all of Steve’s problems, they all get to the edge of the field where the farmer’s house is. The dirt pile stops whipping his ankles, but he doesn’t stop running. 

The burning in Steve's chest becomes unbearable once they get on the house’s porch. He can’t keep running. He looks behind him and sees the creature start to slow down as it tries to chase them. It starts to get shorter and shorter as it tries to catch them on the porch. 

Soon enough it just looks like normal, Upside Down dirt. No trace of bodies. _Is all of the Upside Down dirt filled with bodies that are right under their feet?_

Max stops supporting Steve’s weight and opens the door of the farmer’s house. He rushes inside with the others. His brain feels like it’s trying to burst out of his skull. The overwhelming feeling causes him to faint and stumbles to the ground. He looks up at the popcorn ceiling.

His headache makes his thoughts go fuzzy, chest hurts every time he takes a breath, and his entire body burns from running. He can’t help but feel like they are right back at where they began.


	6. Like Neil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support, and for being patient with me. I know this chapter is later than the other ones, but the winter months are a bit harder for me. Hopefully, I'll pick things back up. Thank you for reading!

Billy thought that the demdogs were the scariest things that he ever saw in his life. He obviously needs to redefine his definition of scary, that animated pile of bodies might have to become his new definition. It also succeeded in kicking their asses. Sharp pain is forming in Billy’s chest, making it hard to breathe. Steve fell to the floor once they got inside, and is now staring off into space. Maxine is clutching her arm. The arm that got hurt because she jumped in front of that thing.

He can feel the anger rising in his chest. Maybe he isn’t really mad at _her_ , but that doesn’t really matter. Everyone’s hurt, he’s angry, and his chest hurts. So Billy does what Billy does best, Billy starts to yell.

“Maxine! What the hell was that out there?” 

“Hargrove,” Steve warns, propping himself up on his elbows. 

“Shut it, Harrington,” Billy turns around to face Maxine, “What were you thinking out there?”

“What?” Maxine asks, looking insufferably oblivious.

“You pushed me out of the way, and then got hurt, shitbird!” Billy snaps at Maxine, “I was dealing with the situation and then—.” 

“You obviously weren’t or else I wouldn’t have pushed you!” Maxine counters.

“I can handle myself,” Billy pauses to catch his breath, “I’m here to stop you from getting hurt.”

“I can do that myself!” 

“Then what the fuck is that?” Billy asks, gesturing to the cut on her upper arm.

Maxine tries to cover the cut with her red jacket, “It’s fine! I’m fine, it’s just a scratch!” 

Billy argues back, “How do you know that that thing doesn’t have some fucking venom?” 

“Shambling Mounds don’t have venom!” Maxine says as if that would explain anything to Billy.

“The what?”

Maxine’s eyes meet the floor, “It’s nothing, nevermind.”

Steve seems to have connected the dots, “You’re calling that thing the Shambling Mound, like from D&D?”

“It doesn’t matter Steve you can call it whatever you want, I just thought—”

Billy groans, “I don’t care about your stupid nerd shit.”

Billy doesn’t think that he’s ever seen Maxine or Harrington look so scandalized. It’s like he called them prostitutes or something. Both of them start arguing like they just got caught red-handed,

“You’re so stupid, Billy!”

“Don’t you rope me in with—”

“Both of you shut up! I don’t care if you name this whole place after your nerdy games.” Billy says, “Use your nerd knowledge to avoid the dangerous things.”

“Everything in here wants to kill us, Hargrove, that’d be pretty hard,” Harrington remarks.

“I need you to shut the hell up Harrington,” Billy looks at Steve scathingly from his place on the floor. “I’m talking about Maxine’s inability to keep herself safe and running in front of that shambling-body thing.”

“You were going to get hurt! You idiot, I was helping you!” Maxine screams, “And I’m not dead. So deal with it!” 

“No, I’m supposed to protect you! That’s my job, you do what I say, and then you stay out of trouble.” 

“Fuck you!” Maxine’s face has gone fully red, “You sound so much like Neil right now!”

That might have been the worst thing that she could have told him. Billy’s ability to form speech evaporates. _Like Neil_ , bounces in his head back and forth. It was like his worst nightmare playing out. I’m like Neil. His vision turns red, anger boils his blood.

Harrington is in front of him now, Billy isn’t sure when that happened. But he’s saying something.

—you leave your bag, and go cool off?” 

Billy snaps back into reality, “No! Harrington I’m—”

“Go. Now.” Harrington orders.

Billy takes his bag off and drops it on the table. He decides to go out the front door and slams it behind him. It was petty, dramatic, and the only door not obstructed by Harrington or Maxine. They both probably thought he's leaving their little group, he isn’t, but he doesn’t really care if they think that. 

He starts to care when the cold burns his lungs, which are trying to breathe. The recurring feeling of paranoia greets him. But he’d rather eat his own foot than go back inside though, so he starts walking.

He sticks close to the grounds of the house, not daring enough to walk anywhere near the fields. He walks over the dirt driveway, noticing that it curves into a road that probably leads back into Hawkins. Exactly the place he’s trying to avoid, but of course, it's the only place that seems safe right now. Well, saf _er_.

Billy turns around the corner of the garage. He can’t help but feel useless walking aimlessly around the house to avoid Harrington and Maxine, who thought he was useless because he was so much _like Neil_.

Billy finds his purpose once he sees the shed sticking out of the side of the house. It’s unfortunately locked, but he quickly resolves this by picking up a slimy rock and smashing it against the door. Once inside, he sees it’s full of farming tools. His eyes immediately go towards the crowbar.

The cold metal in his hands doesn’t feel right, but he still swings it around. It’s too light in his hands it feels like it could slip at any moment. He sets it down and picks up the ax in the shed. It was heavier than the crowbar and the longer handle allowed for longer distance swinging at those fucking flower-dog things. Demodogs, apparently by Max’s definition. Maxine, who thought he was like Neil. 

_Maxine should have a weapon to defend herself_ , Billy thinks picking up the most menacing weapon. It looks like a scythe, but he can’t say that his knowledge of farming tools is top tier. He realizes that Harrington should have one too, so he picks up the crowbar again.

“See, Maxine, I’m going to give you a weapon,” Billy says to himself. He’s doing something good. Because he isn’t like Neil. 

He adjusts himself with all the weapons in his hands and turns to walk all the way around the house. But after taking a few steps, a sharp pain attacks his chest, making him stop in his tracks and take a few deep breaths. 

As he takes a moment, he realizes that the forest is right next to the farmer’s backyard. They weren’t any farther away from the forest than they were at the diner. But Billy didn’t really pay attention to the forest then.

So he looks to the trees and all the things in between them, and there’s an outlandish feeling that the trees are looking to him too. He resolves to hate the woods. He never really liked them in the first place, anyways. The woods are too uncertain and full of shadows. 

With his mind decided on the subject of trees, he knows that he should move on. But he’s stuck thinking about Maxine.

Billy assumes that everyone doesn’t want to become their parents. For him though, it wasn’t a question. He had decided that he wanted nothing to do with Neil years ago. Maybe that’s why he’s so defensive, Billy _can’t_ be Neil but that doesn’t mean that he can’t see it.

He sees it every time he gets angry. He can smell it when he gets drunk. He can hear it when he raises his voice. And he could _feel_ it when he hurt that Sinclair kid. Billy endures Neil’s puppet show. Billy’s the marionette and he has no idea how to cut his strings.

Sometimes Billy can’t tell when he’s being controlled. 

He breaks his focus, suddenly feeling insecure out in the open. He finds a way back into the house and rushes inside the door. When he steps inside the house, it confirms his suspicions the house is much warmer than the outside. He didn’t think electricity worked here, but he must have been wrong because it feels like the house’s heater is running.

He’s halfway through the kitchen going back to the living room to give everyone their weapons when he spots something sitting on the counter. The yellow packaging glows on the counter against all the filth, somehow it doesn’t have a spot on it. He gets closer and the obnoxious label reads _Sour Patch KIDS_ with a cartoon character making a stupid face.

Billy grabs the bag of candy off of the counter for Maxine, sour patch kids are her favorite. He realizes as he stands in the kitchen that he has been preparing himself to apologize. Should he apologize? Yes, because he yelled at her. No, because he was completely justified in yelling at her. But he still yelled at her. 

_If_ he does apologize he knows that this won’t be enough. He can’t count the number of times Neil had gotten him a toy from the mall or taken him out for dinner then the next day would make the same mistakes all over again. But Neil didn’t break any promises because he didn’t say anything. No “sorry” or “I was wrong” because you couldn’t be a man if you admitted to making a mistake. 

Billy knows that Max wants a real apology because even now, he wants one.

He mentally prepares himself and with all his gifts in hand, he walks back into the living room. And once he walks inside everyone turns toward him, making him want to leave immediately. 

“Uh… I have weapons,” Billy says.

Billy takes a deep breath, putting down the ax and the crowbar he found. With the sour patch kids and the scythe in hand, he shuffles over to the small table by the window, where Maxine is sprawled out on a chair. Billy slides his peace offering across the table, and Maxine continues to defiantly stare out the window. 

Billy looks out the window with her, wondering what she sees in the darkness. Max finally turns toward the table, her face lights up once she sees the things on the table. She grabs the sour patch kids bag and tears through it. She has a couple in her mouth before she says,

“Wait, this is a bribe isn’t it?” Maxine spits the candy out of her mouth, “I don’t want it then.”

“Come on, Maxine, I just wanted to give you something nice,” Billy starts to fiddle with the ring on his middle finger, trying to get the courage to say something more.

“I don’t care,” Maxine turns back to the window but doesn’t let go of the sour patch kids.

Well, it’s now or never, “I’m sorry.”

Maxine looks at him, eyebrows knit together. Billy had mumbled the words, he almost hoped that she hadn’t heard them. But then her eyes got all big, it was clear that she had figured out what he had said. Maxine’s surprise morphs into smug satisfaction in a matter of seconds.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that Billy, what did you say?”

“Come on, Maxine, you don’t need to be a little shit about it.”

“No Billy, I just didn’t hear what you said,” Maxine has an infuriatingly innocent look on her face, “I swear.”

“I’m not dealing with your shit Max,” Billy gets up out of his chair, “I said what I said.”

Billy walks away from the table and turns to the couch. Harrington lays face first on the couch, seemingly deep asleep. Billy needs to lay down too, his chest hurts, making it hard to breathe. He gingerly sits down on the chair that’s next to Harrington.

Harrington shoots up from his face-down position on the couch. He’s breathing heavily and very pale.

“Woah, amigo calm down,” Billy puts his hands on Harrington’s shoulders and gently pushes him back down on the couch, “Everything alright?”

Harrington puts his hands in his hair, pulling the strands. He takes a few deep breaths before replying, “I don’t know...I just saw—ow.”

Harrington presses his hands to his temple, making Billy remember the fall that he took. Harrington probably has a concussion now. It was probably not a good idea to have let him fall asleep.

“Okay, pretty boy, you took a bad fall back there,” Billy says, “Are you nauseous, are your ears ringing?”

Harrington looks up, confused, at Billy, “Have you had a concussion before?”

“No. Why?”

“How do you know so much about them?” Harrington grabs the pillow that he was laying on and starts to fidget with it, “I mean, I didn’t think that you were studying to become a doctor or something.”

“I’m not,” Billy says, weirdly feeling as if he has to defend his knowledge, “My mom was a nurse.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that Susan’s a nurse.”

The image of cold, dead eyes comes to Billy’s brain, “She wasn’t. My actual mom was.”

Steve plays with the pillow more, unzipping it and zipping it back up again.

“You don’t talk about her much,” Harrington says, prompting Billy to say more.

Did he really need to tell Harrington anything? Billy looks over to Harrington, the bags under his eyes and his fingers forgetting the zipper and focusing on trying to pick at a loose string on the pillow. Steve looks at him so expectantly, and Billy would just have to disappoint.

“When have I ever talked to you about anything important Harrington,” Billy pauses, “I’m going to bed.”

Billy knows it’s a lame way to change the subject, but he doesn’t care. He can’t talk about that, not right now. Right as Billy lays back in the chair, Harrington seems to remember something.

“You can’t go to bed, we have to get out of here,” Steve says, “El spoke to me.”

“Who?”


End file.
